07 October 2014

Waiting For the Lion




"Well let's say... Let's say since you were little you've always dreamed of someday getting a lion. And you wait, and you wait, and you wait, and you wait and the lion doesn't come. Then along comes a giraffe. You can be alone, or you can be with the giraffe."

"I'd wait for the lion."

"That's why I worry about you."

I can't stop blogging about Beginners and I am so sorry, but it's one of my favorite movies. I keep falling in love with it over and over again. Without divulging too much information about the film itself,  there is one scene that always completely blows me away. There are a lot of ways to interpret this scene. Is the father making a case for settling or is it more than that? Is he telling his son that the lion is an unreachable dream and that he should open his eyes to the possibility of imperfect love? 

I am a hopeless romantic and while I do not necessarily believe in the idea of soulmates, I do believe that there are people in the world who we instantly connect with. I don't believe in love in first sight, but I have met people and immediately known that they would be important to me. I believe in that connection when you see or touch someone for the first time. It's not just a spark, it's something more than that. It's a gut feeling, something that lurches you away from your life for just one moment. Something in you recognizes something in them. A simple look or conversation or handshake has changed everything for me.

I have felt this way a handful of times in my life. Each time, the feeling of connection has been completely mutual. Each time, I have loved that person unconditionally and sometimes against my better judgement. Each time, my relationship with them changed me in some way. I don't believe in soulmates, but I believe in people who come into our lives to teach us something about love and something about ourselves, and that we owe it to ourselves to let them. I consider each of them to be one of my lions. They were too important to be giraffes. I cared for them instantly and fell in love with them over time.

I would like to believe that there is one perfect person for me, but I don't think love or life are that simple. Does the lion even exist or is it just a completely unrealistic expectation for love? What if we already met the lion and we let them go? What if you find a lion, but to them, you are only a giraffe? I get lonely sometimes, but I have had relationships with giraffes before, and they have left me feeling unfulfilled. I am happy with who I am and the life I have. I am completely confident that I will never need another person to make me feel fulfilled. 

If I am going to be in a relationship and fully commit to someone, I want them to enhance my life. I want to feel alive and adventurous and consumed. I am willing to take risks to have that. I think I will always be waiting, not necessarily for 'the one' or 'the lion', but for a lion. They're worth waiting for.



21 August 2014

The Liebster Award

I was so excited to find out that Misha and Andrea had nominated me for a Liebster Award! It was such a sweet surprise. Thank you so much, ladies! Since I was nominated by two separate bloggers, I will be answering 22 questions instead of the standard 11.

If you haven't heard of the Liebster Award, it's a really fun way to give recognition to new bloggers and discover new blogs. Once you have been nominated, you:

  • Write 11 facts about yourself
  • Nominate 5-11 bloggers for the award
  • Answer the 11 questions posted by the presenter and ask your nominees 11 questions  

Let's get down to business!

11 Random Facts About Yours Truly 
  1. I used to go golfing a lot when I was younger, and I really want to pick it up again. I miss the cute outfits and how overwhelmingly green the grass was.
  2. I absolutely love teaching and writing poetry, but I've always wanted to own my own jewelry business.
  3. My Audible.com account primarily consists of paranormal YA fiction. I am only a little ashamed.
  4. When I have my own home, I want a backyard big enough for a chicken coop and a pen where I can keep my teacup pig and a pygmy goat.
  5. I can eat an entire jar of pickles in one sitting.
  6. Sadly, I am allergic to Play-Doh
  7. I just want to drink coffee and read books and be happy.
  8. I collect vintage owl figurines that I find at thrift stores. My collection is embarrassingly large. 
  9. Sometimes I put blankets in the dryer, just so I can cuddle up with them when they get all toasty.
  10. I think it's a little unfair that pizza is so high in calories.
  11. I've never felt more like an adult than when I started telling my friends to use a coaster.

Misha's Questions

What's your guilty pleasure?
I'm completely obsessed with the Kim Kardashian Hollywood game. I play it every day. Every. Day.

If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what would it be and why?
I miss being nineteen. When I was nineteen the whole world felt like it was blooming.

If you could only eat one food item for the rest of your life, what would it be? 
The Black & Bleu salad from Carlyle's. Sometimes I have dreams about it. It's casual.

What is your idea of the perfect day?
Any day I get to spend time with my parents. I miss them all the time.

Would you rather have extremely long ear hair that hangs out or a unibrow? Both are very obvious, permanent and cannot be shaved/waxed/etc.
I would definitely rock the unibrow. I could totally find a way to make it fab.

What is your favourite quote?
"Live, travel, adventure, bless, and don't be sorry." - Jack Kerouac

What would you change your first name to if you could?
I don't think that I would ever change my name. I'm pretty happy with it.

If you could have the personality of any fictional character from a TV show, who would it be?
Most of my friends agree that I'm Rachel Green from Friends. I would love to be more like Brooke Davis.

If you could know the answer to any question, besides “What is the meaning of life?”, what would it be?
Oh wow. This is such a wonderful question. I would ask if there were something I could do to help.

If you were reincarnated as an animal/drink/ice cream flavor, what would it be?
Animal: Fox
Drink: Coffee
Ice Cream Flavor: Blueberry Graham

Favourite blog post that you have ever read?  
Oh gosh. I don't think I have one, to be honest.

Andrea's Questions

Why did you start blogging?
I've always loved reading other people's blogs and entertained the idea of starting my own for years. The sense of community and the ability to organize my thoughts and interests in an engaging way make me really happy.

Who/what inspires you?
I think everything inspires me to an extent. It's a pretty eclectic mixture of things that includes everything from Nora Ephron to Faberge eggs.

What's the last book you've read? Any good?
The last book I read was Wild by Cheryl Strayed. I read it in an hour and a half, and cried the whole time. I definitely recommend it.

If you could choose to do one thing for the rest of your life, what would your work be?
I would write.

Do you have any unusual habits?
I can only start working on something or leave places at times that end in 5 or 0. I don't know why. It's just always been that way.

What makes you feel confident? 
I'm surrounded by wonderful people, and I must be at least a little wonderful if they want to spend time with me, too.

Can you recommend five blogs to watch?
I sure can! I've recommended them below.

If you were about to be on a cover of a magazine, which one would it be?
Hm. Poets & Writers, maybe?

What would be your super power if you had one?
I would love to heal people. I would also be okay with telekinesis.

If I gave you a time machine, where would you travel to and why?
Time traveling would give me way too much anxiety. I don't think that I would do it. Too many rules.

If you were directing a movie, who would you cast as the two leads and what would it be about?
Well, I'm not directing a movie, but my friend and I are writing one. So it's a secret!

I Nominate....(Drum roll please)

My 11 Questions for You
  1. If you were a tea, what flavor would you be?
  2. What is the first song you ever fell in love with?
  3. What book most accurately expresses your viewpoint on life?
  4. In one word, describe how 2014 is going so far.
  5. What is your favorite perfume scent?
  6. Invent your ideal milkshake. What's in it?
  7. Are you a fox or a hedgehog?
  8. Which FRIENDS character are you?
  9. Describe your ideal lazy day.
  10. You get to re-invent the rainbow with seven colors of your choosing. What are they?
  11. What is your favorite Wes Anderson movie?
Thank you again to the wonderful Misha and Andrea for nominating me! To the beautiful human beings that I nominated, please tweet me the links to your Liebster Award post!

Even if you weren't nominated, please feel free to comment below with your answers to my 11 questions! I'd love to get to know you better.

07 August 2014

Gratitude & Blueberry Green Tea


The process of brewing and drinking tea has such a meditative quality to it. I find a lot of random activities to be relaxing: driving long distances, pouring hot water over tea leaves, cross-stitching... I'm obviously not alone in this. I'm sure pretty much everyone enjoys those things. There is something so wonderfully simple about them. The other day, the message that came with my tea bag was "An attitude of gratitude brings opportunities." I was watching the news as I drank, and with everything going on in the world, I started to feel incredibly overwhelmed, and turned off my TV. 

I sat in silence for a while, before my stomach twisted and I realized that the only reason I could ignore everything that was going on in the world, was because I was privileged enough to not be directly affected by it. There are people all over the world who don't have the option of ignoring unpleasant current events, because they are living them every single day. I was disgusted with myself. I couldn't even stomach hearing about horrible things in the world, while others were forced to experience them.


 Privilege is a tricky topic to explore. It's hard to say anything about it without offending someone, but I feel as though it's good to be faced with new viewpoints and practice using a beginner's mind. I have been blessed with a really fortunate life, and it is one that I feel I am often undeserving of. I have always been comfortable, and while I have faced my own struggles and traumas, I am blessed with a supportive and loving community of people. I am a white, straight woman who was born into an affluent family. While my gender has, at times, been a setback, I still have many advantages. 

I am so grateful for the life I have, and I hope that I will always try to use my position of privilege to help others. I believe it is the responsibility of those with privilege to speak up for people who were not given the ability to stand up for themselves. In The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald writes "Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone, just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had." I wish I knew exactly what I was trying to say with this post, but I don't. 

This is more of a reminder for myself than anything else. I want to try and help others to the best of my ability, and come up with ways to practice love and acceptance in my day-to-day life. Any tips from you guys? What do you try to do every day to practice gratitude and kindness? 

05 August 2014

A Collection of Beautiful Words



petrichor 
the scent of rain on dry earth

bungalow
a small, cozy home

serendipity
accidentally discovering good fortune

dulcet
sweet & sugary

zephyr
a gentle breeze

efflorescence
flowering; the opening of buds or a bloom

phosphenes
the lights you see when you close your eyes & press your hands against them

halcyon
a time in the past that was happy & carefree 

niveous
snowy

fernweh
an ache to travel and escape everyday life

ethereal
delicate & beautiful in a way that is too heavenly for this world

neblous
hazy & cloudlike

gossamer
a delicate, flowing fabric or the film of cobwebs floating in air in calm clear weather

felicity
bliss & intense joyfulness 

philocalist
one who loves beautiful things and finds beauty in everything

quiver
to tremble & shake