"Well let's say... Let's say since you were little you've always dreamed of someday getting a lion. And you wait, and you wait, and you wait, and you wait and the lion doesn't come. Then along comes a giraffe. You can be alone, or you can be with the giraffe."
"I'd wait for the lion."
"That's why I worry about you."
I can't stop blogging about Beginners and I am so sorry, but it's one of my favorite movies. I keep falling in love with it over and over again. Without divulging too much information about the film itself, there is one scene that always completely blows me away. There are a lot of ways to interpret this scene. Is the father making a case for settling or is it more than that? Is he telling his son that the lion is an unreachable dream and that he should open his eyes to the possibility of imperfect love?
I am a hopeless romantic and while I do not necessarily believe in the idea of soulmates, I do believe that there are people in the world who we instantly connect with. I don't believe in love in first sight, but I have met people and immediately known that they would be important to me. I believe in that connection when you see or touch someone for the first time. It's not just a spark, it's something more than that. It's a gut feeling, something that lurches you away from your life for just one moment. Something in you recognizes something in them. A simple look or conversation or handshake has changed everything for me.
I have felt this way a handful of times in my life. Each time, the feeling of connection has been completely mutual. Each time, I have loved that person unconditionally and sometimes against my better judgement. Each time, my relationship with them changed me in some way. I don't believe in soulmates, but I believe in people who come into our lives to teach us something about love and something about ourselves, and that we owe it to ourselves to let them. I consider each of them to be one of my lions. They were too important to be giraffes. I cared for them instantly and fell in love with them over time.
I would like to believe that there is one perfect person for me, but I don't think love or life are that simple. Does the lion even exist or is it just a completely unrealistic expectation for love? What if we already met the lion and we let them go? What if you find a lion, but to them, you are only a giraffe? I get lonely sometimes, but I have had relationships with giraffes before, and they have left me feeling unfulfilled. I am happy with who I am and the life I have. I am completely confident that I will never need another person to make me feel fulfilled.
If I am going to be in a relationship and fully commit to someone, I want them to enhance my life. I want to feel alive and adventurous and consumed. I am willing to take risks to have that. I think I will always be waiting, not necessarily for 'the one' or 'the lion', but for a lion. They're worth waiting for.